I Forgot

I was talking to Mami yesterday. I asked her about you. I forgot. It's been 1 year and 6 months since you died. I am surprised by the sorrow I've felt this week. I'm not sure if it was my empathizing with this week's horrible tragedy of two local police officers being shot or just on of those waves that suddenly hit and leave me breathless.

I am blessed though to have had 41 years with you in my life. The children of one of these officers are looking at most of their lives without an earthly father. fortunately, they had a father who lived his faith out loud and he leaves them with a strong legacy of faith.

I love you Papi. I miss you.

Jesus with skin on

I am blessed. I have a loving husband and thoughtful children that have encouraged me and helped me get through these past months since Papi went home with the Lord. I have friends that have shown me incredible love and support. They have been Jesus with skin on.

I have not sent out thank you notes yet. Everything is so emotional lately. I'm sure that is a task that will fill me with peace but take a lot of me. so I avoid it. But, I must share with how they have comforted me.

I have had many thoughts of what I want to say to those who became Jesus with skin on for me:

I received countless calls from Fanett G., my dear mother in law, Tammy K., Ruthie R., Korey P., Bellekys K., Dafnee C., Cathy R., and there are many more. I just want everyone to know how grateful I am.

April A., my sweet neighbor took me out for yard sale shopping and Panera! I love it that my girlfriends give me space when I need it and whisk me away and fill my cup a day out

Caroline W. and Cindy D. thank for the precious cards.

Miriam and her husband visited us at home and gave us a generous monetary gift. Thanks you for being with us on both days. I have taken to heart all your wise and kind words.

Elaine, thanks for being with us all week and for watching over my mom.

Thank you Tio Ernesto for the beautiful flowers. I hope you enjoy reading this blog. I wish you could've been there to hear Papi's friends from cuba speak so well of your brother.

Pepe G and Roberto T., your presence there and your loving and honoring words and even tears for my father I will treasure always.

PPEA, thank you for the gift.

Noah, My girlfriend's son, bought me not one but two bouquets of flowers and a homemade card. He is such a cutie and intuitive boy. Dawn G. His mom, sent me an email filled with bible verses just at the right time. She has a knack for knowing when I need to be rescued. Just a couple of weeks ago she called me for a "girls day out" and her invite began with "I'm not taking no for answer!" I love the way she loves so faithfully and passionately. Thank you my dear friends, I love you!

My friend Mary A. has spoken life giving words to me at least once a week. She has kept her promise to not forget where I'm at. I just saw what she posted on her blog. She was out of town at a retreat when my world came down on me.

"This year was bittersweet as my precious friend Monica's daddy went home to be with Jesus while I was gone. Scotty called me and I was able to talk with her, but I was so sad that I wasn't local to hug her. (((Monica))) There is a picture below of my chair on the dock. That was where I went to pray for her and sat crying as I felt her pain. Thinking of her even tonight as I post this entry."

She has faithfully prayed for me. She prayed for me from this spot on the lake and in this chair pictured below. What intimacy to have a friend talk about you with Almighty God.

Without my "Miami Crew", Mari, Dafnee, Ines, Millie, Theresa, and Bellekys, I would've been lost. The years we've invested in each other are priceless. Thank you all for being there for me.

My precious Mari M. gently pointed me to spend time with my dad last year when he was in the hospital. She is one of my oldest and dearest friends from highschool. Thanks to facebook we have reconnected. She jumped in her car when she heard me cry as I left my dad in Miami last October and met me in a Sedano's parking lot. Because of her I spent the last year of Papi's life talking to him every week. I took lots of pictures over our last holidays together. I will post those soon.

Millie P., my faithful sister. She came the day after and took me to return my rental car, to make the funeral arrangements and to eat. I did not have to explain or talk to her about my thoughts or feelings. Her two year old princess went home with Jesus a few years ago and I walked alongside her through that season. How precious are the moments of fun and laughter I've shared with my friends but I cherish even more the times or grief, sorrow, and trouble. In htat regard I am blessed to have had a few close friends that words are not necessary. She too had our family over for a meal and the kdis enjoyed playing.

Ines H., my sweet and considerate Nessie! She loved me in a very wise and practical way. We could not afford any special flower arrangements. She insisted on providing that for us. She knew that it would've made me sad not to have them there. I didn't htink it mattered until I got to the funeral home and saw them there. She showed me such love and honored my father with those flowers. I will never forget how her tears just fell drop after drop on my arms as I knelt at my father casket holding his hands. She felt my sorrow and she has blessed me beyond measure. I have preserved some of those flowers. Those were the biggest and most beautiful roses I had ever seen. The blooms were the size of my fist. My pictures don't do them justice. Thank you for such a precious gift. "Te quiero y me quedo en chors"

And finally, Theresa B., my dearest and oldest friend, not only spoke to me in a way only she could to get my overwhlemed butt down to Miami just two hours before my father passed away. He seemed to be waiting for me. I was the last person he saw, he held my hand tightly and nodded as I spoke to him wht I didn't realize where the last words I would ever speak to him. My precious Tree was constantly calling me, she bought me a meal and when funeral arrangements got to be too much she had us over for ba-b-que. Her home has always been a retreat, a place of rest and safety in a storm for our family. I call it the resort. She not only fed us at her house but blessed us with a meal to feed all our family after the funeral. We are foodies so she was speaking my language! I could not have gotten through the viewing, and interment without her. I love you crazy woman!

IF YOU ARE READING THIS ON FACEBOOK, THERE IS BETTER FORMATTING ON THE BLOG WHERE THIS IS BEING IMPORTED FROM http://www.rememberingpapi.blogspot.com/

Happy Birthday Papi

It is a family tradition to sing to each other "Happy Birthday". No matter where we are we call each other and sing. Even though I can't call you anymore, I will carry on your tradition. I never imagined singing this song with a sad heart and tears streaming down my face but here it goes papi to where you are.

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear papi

Happy Birthday to you

I love you papi!

I Surrender

I have been less sad lately. I thought. Then an hour later as I wipe down the dining room table a wave of sorrow hits. It overcomes me and threatens to swallow up any plans I had for my day. I try to fight it fearing I may never be normal again, but my love for daddy always wins out.

I surrender to the tears and hide my face in a pillow to muffle the cries. It is maddening to KNOW that papi is heaven, I will see him again, heaven is a better place, and he is in complete bliss with our savior. I can't imagine how those without faith survivie seasons like these because in spite of this precious TRUTH I feel no comfort. I embrace this priceless sorrow and surrender to what the Lord has ordained for me today. I surrender all Lord, your will not mine.

Father, I don't know how things work up there, but if it's possible tell papi how much I love him and how it much he meant to me. And, please I would like to see him in my dreams. Please Lord, let me see him even if it's only a dream.

I miss you Papi.

Psa 31:9
Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am in trouble; My eye wastes away with grief, [Yes], my soul and my body!
Psa 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You [are] with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Ecc 1:18
For in much wisdom [is] much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Psa 119:76
Let, I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort, According to Your word to Your servant.

Need Washing?

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.

"Lets run through the rain!" She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain,"

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said."No, we won't, Mom.. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

A dear friend sent this story to me a few weeks ago. Of course I sobbed thinking of my dad who is now gone and how we used to run through the rain when I was kid growing up in N.Y. But, just as rain washes away the dust in the air the Lord washed away my sadness by showing me how I had been blessed with 41 years great years with my dad. I have learned that I can find joy in the rain. It's been raining a lot in my neck of the woods lately. I don't wait anymore for it to stop. I run squeeling all the way and for some reason it always makes me giggle. I love watching people run to their cars in the rain as if they were running from poison sprinkles. they don't run like you would normally run playing a sport. Everyone looks so goofy. My dad used to always say "flowers need water!" referring to ME when we got caught in the rain. Thanks you Jesus for not only washing away my sin, but also for washing away my sadness when it becomes to much to bear. Try it. Trust me, next time it rains GET WET!

Monica

He was a cutie

Was he a cutie or what? I call my dad Papi Lindo because to me he was most handsome. Even as a child he was a cutie. I don't how papi was in this picture but he looks two or three. My grandparents were very proud of their little sailor. He was a very dedicated son. I don't know the whole story but my grandfather, Gerardo and my grandmother Inocencia (which means innocence) were seperated in my dads teens years. My grandmother had cancer and my dad took care of her and his little brother, Ernesto. My dad left with still many stories to tell. I hope to discover some as I write and remember.

Don't wait to share your story to your kids. If you still can record your parents and grandparents stories. Old stories bring much joy once your loved one is gone.

Here are some resources to help you begin:
The Story of a Lifetime: A Keepsake of Personal Memoirs
Legacy : A Step-By-Step Guide to Writing Personal History
To Our Children's Children: Preserving Family Histories for Generations to Come

Visit my amazon store, Once Upon A Family, to find more helpful resources for celebrating your family.

In Cuba your middle name was the saint of the day. my dad's middle name is Froilan. He got stiffed in my opinion but that is what people called him because he had his father's name. But when it came to baseball his name was Ningo.



As much as my dad loved my mom and I, he had a mistress that followed him from Cuba to the US. Her name was baseball. His favorite was The Yankees. Morning, noon and night baseball was on his mind and part of his conversations. ESPN was his best friend.

Papi Lindo como te extrano!

It's been a month since you went home with the Lord and I still catch myself asking mami how you're doing. Will I ever have a day go by when I do not think of you? I miss you so so much. This blog is to honor you. A place where I can remember you and share with the world, the beautiful, sweet love of a father and his little girl. Thank you for being such a good dad.

Te quiero papi lindo!
La Beba