I Surrender

I have been less sad lately. I thought. Then an hour later as I wipe down the dining room table a wave of sorrow hits. It overcomes me and threatens to swallow up any plans I had for my day. I try to fight it fearing I may never be normal again, but my love for daddy always wins out.

I surrender to the tears and hide my face in a pillow to muffle the cries. It is maddening to KNOW that papi is heaven, I will see him again, heaven is a better place, and he is in complete bliss with our savior. I can't imagine how those without faith survivie seasons like these because in spite of this precious TRUTH I feel no comfort. I embrace this priceless sorrow and surrender to what the Lord has ordained for me today. I surrender all Lord, your will not mine.

Father, I don't know how things work up there, but if it's possible tell papi how much I love him and how it much he meant to me. And, please I would like to see him in my dreams. Please Lord, let me see him even if it's only a dream.

I miss you Papi.

Psa 31:9
Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am in trouble; My eye wastes away with grief, [Yes], my soul and my body!
Psa 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You [are] with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Ecc 1:18
For in much wisdom [is] much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Psa 119:76
Let, I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort, According to Your word to Your servant.